Eight Things You Can Do Now to Prepare for Divorce
Divorce is a major life event, there is no question. It’s like a storm. Some storms pass through with minor disturbance, others uproot your world. So knowing the right way to navigate the storm is critical. Whether you are the one seeking change or the one left picking up the pieces, coping with change is difficult. As with any major life change, it is wise to have a plan—an exit strategy—before you file divorce. With this in mind, I created this list of eight (8) simple (and manageable) things you can—and should—do right now to help prepare you for a possible divorce.
#1 Gather Important Documents
First, make sure you have secured your personal identification documents such as your birth certificate, social security card, and driver's license. Don't make the unfortunate mistake of separating before you secure these documents. If you let your spouse leave with these documents, you may have a much bigger problem to solve.
Next, if financial issues will be part of your divorce, especially child support or alimony, you will be well-advised to have a complete record of your household’s finances. This includes income of all household members and all debts and expenses associated with the household. Locate and copy every document on this list you can find:
#2 Make a List of all Household and Personal Possessions
Make a comprehensive list of all major personal property items and include items such as furniture, furnishings, art, jewelry, appliances, and automobiles. Remember to include items that may be in a storage unit or safe deposit box. If possible, note each item’s market value and date of acquisition. You will need the date of acquisition to determine whether the property is marital or separate. Typically, property acquired during the marriage is “marital” and property acquired before the marriage or by inheritance is the individual’s separate property. However, Utah recognizes three general exceptions to this rule and may support an award of the property in question in the divorce or treat it as marital property subject to division (1- where the property has been consumed or commingled and lost its identity during the marriage; 2-where the other spouse has contributed to the property’s enhancement, maintenance, augmentation or protection; or 3-in extraordinary circumstances where justice or equity demand). This applies to real property and other types of property and assets. Premarital agreements can also affect property division. You should consult with an attorney and discuss your circumstances.
#3 Examine Your Spouse’s Earning History and Earning Potential
If possible, locate income information regarding your spouse for as far back as possible. Locate and copy all tax returns, w2s, income statements, business bank account registers. Certain Social Security documents may show income information. Also gather any documents concerning your spouse’s education, training, certifications, or endorsements. It is a good idea to have your own file, if possible.
#4 Examine Your Own Earning History and Earning Potential
Whether you are dedicated to your career or you have been out of the workforce for a while, you will need to determine what your current employability and earning potential is. In Utah, alimony is primarily an economic function. You will be required to disclose financial documentation and information under criminal penalty. Your spouse will be required to do the same thing. This information, along with evidence of household budget needs, and other potential supporting evidence, will play a big role in whether any alimony is awarded, and if so, how much. The length of your marriage is also an important factor in the alimony analysis and award. If alimony is an issue in your divorce, you should consult with an attorney.
#5 Examine Your Household Budget, Needs, and Expenses
Use my Household Budget Worksheet to brainstorm and note any and all possible household expenses you may face in the next twelve months. Make a comprehensive list of all debts. What are your individual debts? What are your spouse’s individual debts? Are there any jointly held debts? You will need to report a household budget when you file your financial declaration, so having a handle on this data early on will help. In the meantime, get a copy of your credit report and examine your credit history. Are there any surprises? Think about opening your own, separate account and start putting away a reasonable sum of money each month. You will need these resources during the divorce storm.
#6 Prioritize Your Child(ren)
If you are a parent going through a divorce, you must, without question, put your children’s needs first. Think about what routines involving the children worked during the marriage and try to keep them in place as much as possible. Keep your marital issues separate and out of the child(ren)’s hearing range. Do not use your children to send messages to the other parent and always speak positively of the other parent when your child(ren) is/are in hearing range. Promote the other parent as much as possible to the child and never venture into the negative or derogatory side about the other parent when you are with your children. A custody evaluator may be appointed in contested custody cases. The cost of the evaluator is often paid for by the parties in initial divorce proceedings.
#7 Consult an Attorney
There is no substitute for getting good legal advice; you must do this step if you do nothing else. In fact, I would suggest you consult with more than one attorney and keep notes that you take when you meet with each one. You will learn invaluable information, not only about your case, but about which attorney may (or may not) be the best fit for you.
#8 Subscribe to Evorce
If you will be filing your divorce in Utah, the Evorce Online Divorce Navigator will help you plan and—when the time is right—file your Utah divorce. If the idea of divorce is too overwhelming, if you feel stuck, if you don’t know where to begin or what to do, if you wish to avoid common mistakes in divorce, or if you just want help getting organized, then Evorce will help you accomplish this goal without paying a fortune for a traditional attorney. Evorce offers limited scope legal advice for Utah filers. Evorce is owned and operated by a Utah licensed lawyer. Legal services are provided through the law firm Utah Divorce Coaching & Consulting, LLC. Evorce is subscription-based. Take the first module of the four-module course for free. You will be offered an opportunity to subscribe at the end of the first module. If you choose to subscribe, you may cancel anytime.
Just like the storm overhead will eventually pass or weaken, the difficulty of transition and change that comes with divorce, will also pass and weaken. Take smart steps today to protect yourself and your children with a detailed exit strategy.
#1 Gather Important Documents
First, make sure you have secured your personal identification documents such as your birth certificate, social security card, and driver's license. Don't make the unfortunate mistake of separating before you secure these documents. If you let your spouse leave with these documents, you may have a much bigger problem to solve.
Next, if financial issues will be part of your divorce, especially child support or alimony, you will be well-advised to have a complete record of your household’s finances. This includes income of all household members and all debts and expenses associated with the household. Locate and copy every document on this list you can find:
- Tax returns (schedules, W2s, 1099s, etc.)
- bank statements
- Pay stubs or other evidence of earned income for at least 12 months
- check registers and online banking data
- passwords for important online accounts such as banking, business, health, etc.
- investment and/or brokerage statements
- retirement account statements
- employee benefits handbooks
- life insurance policies
- Social Security documentation
- mortgage documents
- financial statements for all loan applications,
- credit card statements,
- car titles
- deeds to real estate
- If your spouse is self-employed, you should try to gather as much information as possible about the finances of the business, such as data stored on your home computer.
- Health and dental insurance cards
- Pre-martial agreements
- Wills, trusts, or other estate planning documents
#2 Make a List of all Household and Personal Possessions
Make a comprehensive list of all major personal property items and include items such as furniture, furnishings, art, jewelry, appliances, and automobiles. Remember to include items that may be in a storage unit or safe deposit box. If possible, note each item’s market value and date of acquisition. You will need the date of acquisition to determine whether the property is marital or separate. Typically, property acquired during the marriage is “marital” and property acquired before the marriage or by inheritance is the individual’s separate property. However, Utah recognizes three general exceptions to this rule and may support an award of the property in question in the divorce or treat it as marital property subject to division (1- where the property has been consumed or commingled and lost its identity during the marriage; 2-where the other spouse has contributed to the property’s enhancement, maintenance, augmentation or protection; or 3-in extraordinary circumstances where justice or equity demand). This applies to real property and other types of property and assets. Premarital agreements can also affect property division. You should consult with an attorney and discuss your circumstances.
#3 Examine Your Spouse’s Earning History and Earning Potential
If possible, locate income information regarding your spouse for as far back as possible. Locate and copy all tax returns, w2s, income statements, business bank account registers. Certain Social Security documents may show income information. Also gather any documents concerning your spouse’s education, training, certifications, or endorsements. It is a good idea to have your own file, if possible.
#4 Examine Your Own Earning History and Earning Potential
Whether you are dedicated to your career or you have been out of the workforce for a while, you will need to determine what your current employability and earning potential is. In Utah, alimony is primarily an economic function. You will be required to disclose financial documentation and information under criminal penalty. Your spouse will be required to do the same thing. This information, along with evidence of household budget needs, and other potential supporting evidence, will play a big role in whether any alimony is awarded, and if so, how much. The length of your marriage is also an important factor in the alimony analysis and award. If alimony is an issue in your divorce, you should consult with an attorney.
#5 Examine Your Household Budget, Needs, and Expenses
Use my Household Budget Worksheet to brainstorm and note any and all possible household expenses you may face in the next twelve months. Make a comprehensive list of all debts. What are your individual debts? What are your spouse’s individual debts? Are there any jointly held debts? You will need to report a household budget when you file your financial declaration, so having a handle on this data early on will help. In the meantime, get a copy of your credit report and examine your credit history. Are there any surprises? Think about opening your own, separate account and start putting away a reasonable sum of money each month. You will need these resources during the divorce storm.
#6 Prioritize Your Child(ren)
If you are a parent going through a divorce, you must, without question, put your children’s needs first. Think about what routines involving the children worked during the marriage and try to keep them in place as much as possible. Keep your marital issues separate and out of the child(ren)’s hearing range. Do not use your children to send messages to the other parent and always speak positively of the other parent when your child(ren) is/are in hearing range. Promote the other parent as much as possible to the child and never venture into the negative or derogatory side about the other parent when you are with your children. A custody evaluator may be appointed in contested custody cases. The cost of the evaluator is often paid for by the parties in initial divorce proceedings.
#7 Consult an Attorney
There is no substitute for getting good legal advice; you must do this step if you do nothing else. In fact, I would suggest you consult with more than one attorney and keep notes that you take when you meet with each one. You will learn invaluable information, not only about your case, but about which attorney may (or may not) be the best fit for you.
#8 Subscribe to Evorce
If you will be filing your divorce in Utah, the Evorce Online Divorce Navigator will help you plan and—when the time is right—file your Utah divorce. If the idea of divorce is too overwhelming, if you feel stuck, if you don’t know where to begin or what to do, if you wish to avoid common mistakes in divorce, or if you just want help getting organized, then Evorce will help you accomplish this goal without paying a fortune for a traditional attorney. Evorce offers limited scope legal advice for Utah filers. Evorce is owned and operated by a Utah licensed lawyer. Legal services are provided through the law firm Utah Divorce Coaching & Consulting, LLC. Evorce is subscription-based. Take the first module of the four-module course for free. You will be offered an opportunity to subscribe at the end of the first module. If you choose to subscribe, you may cancel anytime.
Just like the storm overhead will eventually pass or weaken, the difficulty of transition and change that comes with divorce, will also pass and weaken. Take smart steps today to protect yourself and your children with a detailed exit strategy.
What is Evorce?
Evorce is an online course designed to help you complete and file your own divorce or parentage matter. We are a guided, online, DIY divorce workshop. We are ready and on-demand to assist you, step-by-step. Start for free now. There is no obligation and we won't ask you for your credit card until you decide to purchase a subscription or a service. You can cancel any time.
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Evorce Utah is an online legal divorce workshop for people filing or looking to file a divorce in Utah. Unlike LegalZoom and other non-lawyer based, mass-produced, one-size-fits-all web services, Evorce is owned by a Utah law firm and operated by a licensed Utah lawyer. When you purchase the Evorce Online Divorce Course, you are retaining the services of a Utah law firm and a licensed Utah attorney. Only a law firm can give you legal advice!
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Course Outline
Module 1 Overview & Essentials
Module 2 How to designate, value, and divide your marital estate
Module 3 Draw your roadmap then navigate forward
Module 4 Obtain official Decree of Divorce and end court proceedings
Module 2 How to designate, value, and divide your marital estate
Module 3 Draw your roadmap then navigate forward
Module 4 Obtain official Decree of Divorce and end court proceedings
What You Will Get
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Jennifer L. Neeley, JD, CDC
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